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A pregnancy reflection.

2/2/2012

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rileybaby19months6
I have been asked a lot of questions about this pregnancy, and I usually just give the short, polite answer since I never know how much people REALLY want to know.  Well, here are the real answers to all your questions you may or may not have had.

How does this pregnancy compare to your last one?
Physically?  Pretty much the same, actually.  Same amounts of morning sickness (maybe sliiiiiightly more this time around), awesome 2nd and beginning of 3rd trimesters, and then lots of fatigue now nearing the end.  A bit of heartburn in both, but nothing too awful.  The BIGGEST difference is having Riley to take care of this time, which makes it a lot more exhausting.  I can't just nap whenever I want.  I can't sleep as late as I want on the weekends.  I can't lay on the couch and watch TV when I'm tired during the day.  I have a toddler that wants to be held and sleep in my bed and needs to be put in and out of her car seat and picked up and down all day long.  Makes me laugh at how I ever complained of being tired the first time around!!

Mentally/emotionally?  Pretty darn different.  Last time, from the moment I found out I was pregnant, it never left my thoughts.  Everything was so exciting.  I counted down each week, I kept a detailed journal, I always knew what development was going on inside me.  This time?  I never know what baby is doing week-to-week, at the beginning I often forgot I was pregnant, and I usually have to go back and fill in the gaps of my pregnancy journal that I totally forgot to fill out.  Obviously we're excited to meet this little baby, but I don't yet feel quite as "bonded" to this little guy as I did to Riley before she was born.  I've heard this is totally normal, and once baby is born everything changes and obviously it becomes really real, and that same love and joy just comes immediately.  I'm expecting this will be the case for me.  It's just hard to focus on this pregnancy and this baby that I can't see and touch when I have Riley to keep me so busy!
rileybaby19months
Is Riley excited?  Does she know what's going on?
Excited? I doubt it.  I doubt she's able to really comprehend enough to anticipate that there is a real live baby coming home to be her brother, and therefore able to get excited about it.  As for knowing what's going on... I have a whole other post about that, but she's got an idea.  She points to my belly and says "baby!", she goes into the baby's room and points to all his stuff and says "baby's seat!" baby's toys!" "baby's bed!"....  She will randomly stop in the middle of the day and say to me, "Baby boy?" although I'm not totally sure what's going through her head when she says that.  And, the best part is... Riley LOVES babies.  She loves seeing them, touching them, she has no problems with me holding them... it makes me excited for her to be a big sister!!  And she take care of all her stuffed animals like they are her little babies, it's pretty cute. 
rileybaby19months2
You are going to have your hands full! Are you nervous/anxious for 2 little ones less than 20 months apart?
Believe it or not, we actually planned these babies to be close together!  Do I expect my fair share of challenges?  Of course.  I'd be crazy not to.  But I'm actually not really that worried about how Riley is going to respond, I actually think she's going to be a fabulous big sister and absolutely smitten with baby.  My biggest concern?  Sleep.  Riley is still waking up at night and wanting to come in our bed.  And this new little one will probably be in our room for at least a few months.  What if Riley comes in and wakes the baby up?  What if the baby wakes Riley up?  What if they wake each other up and then I have two awake babies both needing mama in the middle of the night?  I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens...  We're working on trying to keep Riley in her own bed all night, but it's not going to happen overnight, and time is not exactly on our side at this point!
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Are you nervous about going through the whole labor and birth thing again?
Yes and no.  It's funny, during my labor with Riley, I definitely remember thinking "I never want to do this again!"  My labor with her was fast and furious, with a failed epidural, and lots of pushing.  But going through that, I actually feel very prepared now to do it again.  I KNOW I can do it without pain medicine since my epidural failed last time.  I have more knowledge and different coping strategies this time around.  My biggest worry so far has been that my labor will be TOO fast.  That I won't have time to get someone to care for Riley and then get myself to the hospital before baby is born.  Also?  Believe it or not, my biggest concern is Riley.  What if we can't get a hold of someone to come look after her?  What if we have to leave her in the middle of the night and she wakes up and we are gone, and she freaks out?  What if we had to bring her with us to the hospital??  All these unknowns!!
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Are you excited about having a boy?
I always thought this was a bit of a silly question.  OF COURSE we're all excited about having a boy.  It did take a little getting used to, since the idea of having a boy was new to me, but I'm totally thrilled to be having a boy and be giving Riley a brother.

"So now you're family is complete, right?"
This is seriously the weirdest comment I have gotten SO many times when people find out we're having a boy.  Why do people assume that because we will have one boy and one girl, that BAM, our family unit is complete?  So if we had two girls, or two boys, it wouldn't be?  Mark and I have always wanted a big family, so I can fairly confidently say we won't be done having kids after this baby is born. 
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Getting creative

11/19/2010

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I've always considered myself fairly creative.  I like to make stuff.  You know, like art projects for adults.  My newest favorite thing is digital scrap booking.  I can't get enough of it.  In fact, I like it SO much that Riley's first year scrapbook already has 46 pages.  FORTY. SIX.  Aaaaaand she's just shy of 5 months.  The page limit of these books is 100 pages.  Oh crap.  I shared some of those pages before, but I went and re-did a few of them because I wasn't totally satisfied with my first attempt.  And I've spent the last few days getting totally caught up, and her 46 page book is now up-to-date.  Here's just a few sample pages... 
rileypage4
Rileypage5
Rileypage8
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And some more recent-ish ones (well, more recent than newborn...)
Rileypage24
Rileypage30
Rileypage39
Obviously I skipped a whole bunch of pages, but you get the idea.  I love how I can include a mix of pictures, milestones, and my own feelings/memories and messages to my baby.  And it's just so easy.  I'm not really into all those pre-made super fluffy scrapbook pages, it's not really my style.  I like it simple and contemporary.  The hard part is choosing what pictures to include (or NOT include, that's the real hard part).  I'm gonna have to slow down a bit though otherwise I'm going to reach my 100 page max when she's only 10 months old!

If I could somehow make money making scrapbooks for people, I would totally do it.  At the moment I'm working on re-doing my own wedding album, because I made my last album through shutterfly just using the standard pages they offer, and it looks alright, but I definitely don't love it.  And I want to LOVE my wedding album.  So that's a work in progress. 

Hope you liked my sample pages!  Let me know if you'd like to pay me ridiculously large amounts of money to make one for you (i joke, I joke... sort of).  HAPPY WEEKEND!!!
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Baby shower!

6/12/2010

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Yesterday was my baby shower!  I never really thought for a second that I was going to have a baby shower over here, mostly because I don't have a ton of close friends quite yet.  But, Mark's mom (Megan) organized one for me anyway!  It was supposed to be a surprise, and it was also originally planned for a few weeks ago, but it didn't exactly work out that way, so I did end up knowing about it in advance.  But there were a few things that were kept hidden from me!  First of all, look at the diaper cake made by Mark's mom!
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And some decorations...
In case you can't see, click on the first photo... Megan hung diapers on our curtain rod that spell out "ooohhh baby!" We had some good snacks, and played some funny baby games.  The funniest one was probably the one where we had to race to drink about 100 mls of apple juice out of a baby bottle... with no hands.  It was tough!!  But it was pretty funny, and I am proud to say I came in 2nd place. :)  Megan got some pictures of it all, but I don't have them with me, so maybe later you can see us in action.  I also heard all kinds of different birth stories from my neighbors, and got some pretty cute presents!
In case you can't tell from the pictures... the first one is from our fellow soccer-loving neighbor.  The Phoenix is Wellington's professional soccer team, so they got our little baby a phoenix outfit!  Next we have a cute stuffed octopus/musical toy and shoes, and the one on the right is a handmade cushion/ floor mat for baby to play or lay on.  My neighbor made this herself, and it's perfect for laying the baby on our hardwood floors so she has some extra padding.  And it's pretty cute too!  We also got some other miscellaneous toys, a warm winter outfit, and some essential lotions/shampoos/toiletry items for baby.  All in all, a very fun evening (with lots of leftover food)!

Then this morning, I had my very first "morning coffee group" with the other couples in my birth class.  One woman has already had her baby, the rest of us are still anxiously waiting!  I found a couple of people that I think are pretty similar in age to me, and we got along quite well.  Maybe I can make some new friends after all!  This coffee group will be meeting every 2 weeks, so it's likely that by the next one, there will be a few more babies born! 
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OUCH.

6/8/2010

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Remember that scene from the movie Aliens where the alien emerges from that pregnant lady's belly....  (at least I think that's the movie... it's one of the many Alien movies).  THAT IS HOW I FEEEEEEL!!!  This baby is trying to escape via my stomach!!  
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Even Mark can feel how strong our little babe is, pushing against my belly.  Only 4 more weeks to gooooo! :)
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36 weeks!!

6/6/2010

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Holy cow, 36 weeks already!  I know you all can do the math, but that means only 4 weeks to go!  AND only one more week until I am considered full term!!  

How I'm feeling:  It's funny, sometimes I feel GREAT, pretty much normal (aside from the large bump in my midsection), while other times I feel really uncomfortable and tired.  So I'm not uncomfortable all the time by any means, which is nice for me!  Night time seems to be the worst, because trying to sleep has become such a pain, and my hands/fingers hurt A LOT all during the night and then for the first hour after I wake up.  So weird.  Then the finger pain is totally tolerable during the day, which is quite strange.  I get tired a lot more easily, and I notice if I am standing or doing a lot of things and I get too hot, then my toes swell just a little bit.  But this only happens like once or twice a week.  I have stopped wearing any sort of rings on my hands because I never know when my fingers are going to swell a little bit, and I don't want to risk having my ring get stuck!  Still no signs of stretch marks, but my belly button is getting flatter and flatter by the day (but is NOT an outie, despite what Mark might try to tell you). 

This week I start having weekly midwife appointments until baby gets here!  At this upcoming appointment in two days, I have to get tested for Group B Strep... it's fairly common (I think I read it's present in 20-40% of women), but it can be dangerous for newborn babies.  Basically, if I test positive, I have to be given IV antibiotics during labor, and have to make sure to come in to the hospital right away if my water breaks.  I REALLY don't want to be hooked up to an IV during labor! And of course I don't want our baby to be in any danger, but that's pretty rare if I'm on antibiotics, so I'm not really worried about that so much.  Anyway, we'll see what happens.

Labor signs? I can confidently say that the baby has moved lower, or "dropped," although I don't seem to look very different, but I could be wrong.  My only evidence is (1) I haven't felt any baby parts in my rib for over a week (which was a daily, painful experience prior to that) (2) I can feel the baby much lower down (3) I went for a walk the other day and sort of felt like I was waddling (4) the heartburn has pretty much gone away and (5) my appetite has increased!  I have also been getting some menstrual-like cramps, which according to my midwife, can be Braxton-hicks contractions, or signs of early labor (not to be alarmed... you can have signs of "early labor" for weeeeeeeeks before labor actually begins).  How non-helpful is that!?  We're going to try and wait until July 5th to pop this baby out because my parents get here July 4th I think so that would be perfect timing. :)

Baby movements: Lots and lots.  Supposedly movements are supposed to slow down as "the end" approaches since baby doesn't have much room (she's about 6 pounds now!), but I haven't really found that to be the case.  The movements have definitely changed, but they seem to be just as frequent as ever.  And she moves a LOT when Mark talks to her!!

Food cravings: I don't know if it's because it's cold outside or what, but I have really been wanting chai tea lattes lately.  I try not to drink many because (1) the caffeine and (2) they are expensive!  But one or two here and there is okay!  Also, I'm really enjoying ice cream sundaes lately... as in vanilla ice cream with whipped cream and sprinkles and chocolate chips.  YUM.  Not the healthiest option, and could quite possibly explain the weight gain (oops), but it sure is delicious!

Weight gain this week: 1.5 pound

Total weight gain: 23 pounds!  I was hoping to stay around the 25 pound mark, but at this rate, I could be up to 30 by my due date!  We'll see!  I'm convinced some of that weight gain is more fluid retention though (hence the swelling), so that's alright.
In other news (sort of), Mark and I decided to get maternity portraits done the other day!  I wasn't sure if it was a good idea, or if it was going to be worth the money, and I've still only seen a few of them, but I am totally glad we did it.  I found a budding photographer in the area who was totally reasonably priced (since she's fairly new at this), and she was very excited to take the photos for us.  I sent her a few ideas of what I wanted out of maternity shots, and she managed to capture them brilliantly!  Now I was going to wait until we got all of them back before sharing any as kind of a surprise, but I just couldn't wait!  So I've posted one of them, and I should get all of them back in the next week or two (hopefully before baby gets here, because after baby is here I'm sure you won't want to see pictures of her in my belly!).

Also, just in case you are starting to forget what my handsome husband looks like... cheeeeeeese!
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Sneak peek...

6/4/2010

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Yup, that's me and Mark!!  
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Decisions and dilemmas

6/2/2010

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Well, now that it's June, I can finally say that it's possible that we might have a baby THIS MONTH.  Now of course I guess it was possible that we could have had the baby in May, but I was really hoping that wouldn't happen, and obviously it didn't, but with an early July due date, a June birthday is actually a possibility!  Although Mark has made it clear he does not want to share his birthday, so I've been instructed NOT to let the baby come on June 24th.  Got it.

As it gets closer and closer to baby's arrival, I find myself with more and more things to do.  Some of them are stupid, or just small things, while others are very important and necessary.  I also find myself thinking about how weird it's going to be to be sitting on the couch in the evenings with Mark... AND a baby.  It's hard to really picture!  And of course, I've had my mini freak-out moments.  Like, where I go WHAT WAS I THINKING getting pregnant?!  We're going to have a baby?? And I contemplate all the "major" decisions I have to make.  I use quotations because, well, they are actually all really minor things that just need to be considered when raising a baby, but when you get in one of those freak-out moods, every minor thing becomes major, ya know?  Such as...
  • Pacifiers?   To use, or not to use?  Supposedly they might interfere with breast feeding if given too early, but babies have a strong sucking reflex early on and pacifiers can be very helpful in soothing.  And we've all seen the 4 year old walking around with a pacifier, but then again, at least with a pacifier (as opposed to thumb sucking) I can determine when it gets taken away... It's pretty tough to get thumb sucking to stop.  Although thumbs are free, and convenient, and you don't have to worry about it falling out of baby's mouth in the middle of the night...  And little babies sucking their thumbs are soooo cute... until they turn 4 and still suck their thumbs... See my dilemmas?  Haha, I think I'm a pacifier kind of person, but who knows.
  • Breast feeding.  I'm determined to do it, but am not really the type to be comfortable doing it in public.  Which means, am I housebound for the next however many months?  What if I want to play soccer again (the season goes October-December, and sometimes requires a day of travel), how is that gonna work??  I could introduce bottles (of breast milk) early on so Mark can feed the baby, but then what if she then only wants to drink from a bottle? Decisions, decisions.
  • Our car.  Ok this has been a major source of stress for me lately, and maybe I'm overreacting (and I think it drives Mark crazy), but I think I have some valid points.  It's getting to be winter here (as in freezing cold and raining often).  Our car does not have a heater, or even a fan that works.  So obviously we can't warm up the car, and because not even the fan works (it makes a horrible, loud noise when we turn it on), we can't defrost anything.  So if we have a cold wintery day, and we have to drive somewhere, the windows get all fogged up and we can't even see to drive.  So the only solution is to roll down the windows, letting in cold air and rain.  Fine, we can suffer through that, but with a baby in tow?  I think not.  But I think it's going to cost hundreds of dollars to get it fixed.  Granted the window fogging problem is only an issue in the winter, but in the summer when it's hot, we don't have A/C either.  But then to get it fixed we have to be without a car for a while, which is not very convenient when I am 35+ weeks pregnant, have lots of errands to run, and could potentially go into labor any time.  That would be SO FUN to take the train into Wellington when I'm in labor.   Still working on a solution...
  • Trip to the US in September.  Don't get me wrong, this was my idea, and I am SOOO excited about it.  But, I am also slightly stressed.  I mean, ok, worst case scenario: we have a colicky baby that cries for most of the flight.  That's the worst that can happen.  Well, no it's not, but the worst thing in my mind.  So i'm just hoping and praying that we have a easy going baby that likes the loud white noise of the airplane, and sleeps and eats like a champ.  Please please please.
I think that's it for now.  :)  Sometimes it just feels good to vent, and then move on!  Tomorrow I'm going to put up pictures of the finished nursery, so get excited!!  I have the next 4 days off of work, so I hope to accomplish quite a few things on my to-do list.  Woohoo!
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33 week picture...

5/19/2010

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A few days late.  But here you go.  I seriously feel like I am getting bigger every. single. day.
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Do you have a birth plan?

5/18/2010

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Oh the birth plan...  I've been asked a few times now if I have prepared a birth plan yet.  Well, no, I don't have a document titled "birth plan" to hand out to everyone who I might come in contact with while I'm in the hospital.  But I have talked with my midwife about all things labor/birth related, and she has notes of all my preferences, so that counts, right?

The "thing to do" these days is to create a birth plan.  Basically, a document with all your preferences and desires in order to outline your ideal labor.  Sounds reasonable I suppose, but it seems to me like people get these ideas of how EXACTLY they want their labor to go, and they write it all down, and expect it to actually go like that.  In some cases, it might.  But I think in many cases, your labor and birth are not really going to be exactly like you anticipate.  Especially for your first baby.  Like, I hear about all these people who wanted to go all natural, drug-free, but then if they end up getting an epidural, they are so disappointed and feel like they failed.  WHY??  See, for me, I actually am one of those people hoping to have a natural childbirth.  I say "hoping" because, well, I've never actually experienced childbirth.  I don't know what it's like, I don't know how my body will deal with it.  I may very well be able to have a natural birth, and my midwife and husband are going to try and encourage me to do so, because that's what I'd like to happen.  BUT, that said, if I get there and I am in such unbearable pain that I just can't do it, well, then drugs it is.  And I won't feel like a failure, I won't be disappointed... I tried, and it just didn't work out.  

Now you might be curious as to why I want to try and have a natural childbirth.  Before getting pregnant, I always thought those people who wanted to go all natural were (1) crazy and (2) hippies.  Seriously.  Like why not use the marvels of modern medicine, was how I figured.  After a little more research, I have come to realize a few things which are inspiring me to TRY and have a natural childbirth.  First, have you SEEN the needle they stick in your back?  See below... YIKES.  
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Then, once you actually get the epidural, you have less pain (yay) but you are also sort of confined to the bed.  You need an IV, constant monitoring, a catheter, etc etc.  I want to be able to be mobile as long as possible (as in, not confined to a bed).  Also, depending on when you get the epidural, it may not wear off for a while after baby is born, and I do not want to still have to be confined to a bed until my body starts functioning again who knows how many hours later.  

More reasons... it's been shown that people who get epidurals are more likely to need a c-section or have worse degrees of tearing.  Basically it does its job in reducing pain, but can also reduce your urge to push, which means you just kind of end up pushing not based on any real input from your body, which can cause more tearing.  Not always the case, but an epidural increases the likelihood.  And, the epidural does actually affect the baby, although obviously if it wasn't safe then it wouldn't be allowed, so that is actually not high on my list of reasons why I don't want an epidural.  There are other potential more serious side effects, but I think they are pretty rare so those aren't really factors for me.  But those are my reasons, in case you were curious.

So this whole natural birth is an ideal situation for me, but I'm flexible.  If I get there and am like, WOAH, this is not what I expected, then maybe my plans change.  We will have to wait and see!  But seriously, look at that needle again.  So, don't call me crazy, don't tell me I have no idea what I'm in for, or that I won't be able to do it!!  :)  Just smile and wish me luck, and we'll see how it goes.  And if I get an epidural, then so be it!  Only 7-ish more weeks to go!  It is getting so close!!!!
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3d/4d ultrasound

5/8/2010

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With all the incredible sadness in my family this past week, I decided to try and bring a little bit of joy into the week by scheduling a 3d/4d ultrasound.  They don't have this technology where I live in NZ, so it was pretty cool to get to do it there in the US.  I brought my entire family including my grandma, and we spent about 30 minutes getting to look at our baby girl. It was amazing to get to see her little face, and we have figured out the following...

1) Definitely, 100% a girl!  Funny thing was, the first thing the ultrasound technician pulled up on the screen was a regular 2d image, and my mom goes, "Awww, is that her face?" all excited, to which the lady responds, "Um, no... that's her vagina.  It's definitely a girl."  Haha.  Nice one mom.

2) Apparently baby already has a decent amount of hair.  We'll see!

3) Apparently our baby girl is big!  She's got some chubby cheek and the lady predicted baby would be over 8 pounds at birth.  So much for my hopes of a petite, 7 pound baby.  

4) Baby has an attitude already.  She wasn't cooperating for the "camera," so the ultrasound lady was poking and tapping my belly, and in response baby would get this mad/annoyed look on her face, as if she was not pleased about this interruption, and was not afraid to show it.

5) Mark has officially named our baby "Monkey."  In one of the images, she was hugging her right foot by her face.  That combined with all the hair on her head has led Mark to call her our little monkey.  I'll try and upload the video with that part in it so you can see.


Ok, here's an explanation of the pictures below.  Top left... baby is hugging the placenta in this one.  I think she's smiling. :)  Top right, she's sticking her tongue out, and that weird looking thing up by her face is the umbilical cord.  Bottom left, tongue out again, and bottom right was just cute.  I will try and add a video, but it is really long and it will take a while for me to edit it and upload it.  But for now, at least you can see some 3d pictures of our baby!
Edit:  When we first saw the baby and her grumpy face (it's on the video, we don't have a good picture of it...), this is what he compared her to...  from The Mummy.  He thinks he's funny. :)
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