I'm going to come right out and say it. I'm tired. Exhausted, even. I was expecting this, to some degree, before Riley was born. And yes, I was tired the first few weeks, but I sort of wasn't too bothered by it. I think it was just the rush of adrenaline and excitement of having a new baby, and that made the tiredness not so bad. But now, 6 weeks after her birth, I'm tired. I haven't slept more than 3 hours in a row since, well, I can't even remember (remember that whole getting up to pee constantly while pregnant...) Anyway, I've been doing this mommy thing now for 6 weeks, and I'm loving it and wouldn't have it any other way, but I'm tired. And I think as a result, today Mark and I had our first argument since Riley was born. And it was a little silly. But I got mad. And he got mad. So he left for his soccer game mad. And I stayed home and worked on getting un-mad, and now here I am. The fight, you ask? Well, it was silly. So silly in fact, I can't even remember how it started. I think something about Mark asking for a little credit for all the things he had done this morning (which, in all fairness, was quite a lot), and me in turn demanding credit for all the things I had done lately, and then it sort of got out of control from there... I think I accused him of taking all the things I do for granted. or not appreciating me, etc... And he said something about it being my job since I was a stay at home mom now. And I almost threw my computer at him (okay not really, but the thought did cross my mind...) Dramatic, I know.
The thing is, I think we both do some pretty amazing things for each other, and make some big sacrifices along the way. I think we're both pretty darn lucky, and that's what needs to be taken away from this argument. For example... he's pretty darn lucky that since day 1, he has never had to get up in the night with Riley. And he probably never will. I think that's pretty unique, not many dads don't get up in the middle of the night EVER. BUT, although that sounds like a sweet deal, it's not like he's getting 7 or 8 hours of sleep. We're talking average of 6, sometimes less. He so busy with work lately, he stays up working most nights until at least midnight, then gets up at 6ish to get ready to go to work. So it' not like he's living this life of leisure while I slave away taking care of baby. He just gets to sleep more than 2 hours in a row, and not change diapers and get puked on in the middle of the night.
BUT, you know what he did today? (Before the argument...) I woke up to feed Riley at 6:30, then woke Mark up just after 7 so he could take her. I went and made her a bottle of breastmilk for her next feed, and he took the little munchkin so I could sleep. And I got to go back to sleep until 11! Then he brought her back in to me, and she slept in my arms while he made me breakfast (or is that considered lunch...) in bed, and even helped me eat it since my hands were full of baby. What a superstar. AND, you know what else he did? Yesterday when he came home from work, he could tell I was super tired, so while I was feeding Riley, he did all the dishes, vacuumed, cleaned up, AND folded the laundry. Oh and he made dinner too. Did he deserve some credit? Yes, yes I think he did. Most definitely.
So today, after getting mad at him, and taking some time to think, I feel silly. Because really, I have it pretty good. I have a husband who loves me, and adores his baby girl, and is trying his best to make us happy. Can't complain.
So really what it comes down to is I need to find some sort of balance in my life I think. Being a stay at home mom is a privilege, and I'm glad that at least for a little while, I can afford it. But a stay at home mom does not literally mean I have to stay. at. home. all the time. I need to get out, be with other people, run errands, do SOMETHING other than just, well, stay at home. I think that will help me not feel so isolated, and maybe I won't be so crazy when Mark gets home! My last 6 weeks have been totally consumed by baby, which is to be expected, but I think it's time to find a balance. And I think my husband would agree. :)
The thing is, I think we both do some pretty amazing things for each other, and make some big sacrifices along the way. I think we're both pretty darn lucky, and that's what needs to be taken away from this argument. For example... he's pretty darn lucky that since day 1, he has never had to get up in the night with Riley. And he probably never will. I think that's pretty unique, not many dads don't get up in the middle of the night EVER. BUT, although that sounds like a sweet deal, it's not like he's getting 7 or 8 hours of sleep. We're talking average of 6, sometimes less. He so busy with work lately, he stays up working most nights until at least midnight, then gets up at 6ish to get ready to go to work. So it' not like he's living this life of leisure while I slave away taking care of baby. He just gets to sleep more than 2 hours in a row, and not change diapers and get puked on in the middle of the night.
BUT, you know what he did today? (Before the argument...) I woke up to feed Riley at 6:30, then woke Mark up just after 7 so he could take her. I went and made her a bottle of breastmilk for her next feed, and he took the little munchkin so I could sleep. And I got to go back to sleep until 11! Then he brought her back in to me, and she slept in my arms while he made me breakfast (or is that considered lunch...) in bed, and even helped me eat it since my hands were full of baby. What a superstar. AND, you know what else he did? Yesterday when he came home from work, he could tell I was super tired, so while I was feeding Riley, he did all the dishes, vacuumed, cleaned up, AND folded the laundry. Oh and he made dinner too. Did he deserve some credit? Yes, yes I think he did. Most definitely.
So today, after getting mad at him, and taking some time to think, I feel silly. Because really, I have it pretty good. I have a husband who loves me, and adores his baby girl, and is trying his best to make us happy. Can't complain.
So really what it comes down to is I need to find some sort of balance in my life I think. Being a stay at home mom is a privilege, and I'm glad that at least for a little while, I can afford it. But a stay at home mom does not literally mean I have to stay. at. home. all the time. I need to get out, be with other people, run errands, do SOMETHING other than just, well, stay at home. I think that will help me not feel so isolated, and maybe I won't be so crazy when Mark gets home! My last 6 weeks have been totally consumed by baby, which is to be expected, but I think it's time to find a balance. And I think my husband would agree. :)
And I can't WAIT until our vacation to the US. Seriously. Only 3 more weeks!
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