3+ months after becoming a mom, I must admit, motherhood is not exactly what I expected. It's easier, while at the same time so much harder. It's exhausting, and fulfilling, and amazing, and stressful, and fun, and all kinds of contradicting things. It's isolating, yet provides a sense of community. When Riley was a newborn, she was (in my opinion) a SUPER easy baby. Sure, she liked to be held all the time, but I also liked to hold her all the time, so I didn't mind. She rarely cried, she breastfed well, she slept well, she was basically an angel!! So, so much easier than I expected! And while I was tired from waking up to feed her every 2-3 hours, I felt really good overall. As she got older, and woke up a little more, she was still super easy. We brought her to the US, and for the most part she was awesome. And then we got back to New Zealand.
All of a sudden I was at a loss. She cried. A lot. And I couldn't get her to stop. She was tough to get to sleep. She wanted to be held all. the. time. She would only sleep in my arms. Now slowly we figured out that she was getting overtired, and as she re-adjusted to NZ time and caught up on sleep, slowly she returned to her normal self, and now, she's usually very happy. But I will say she is probably one of the most inflexible babies...ever. Her maximum awake time is an hour and a half. That is from the moment she wakes up, to the moment she is back asleep. This includes feeding, changing, playing, and the getting-her-back-to-sleep process. If you figure it takes 15-20 minutes to feed/change her, and 15-20 for her to fall asleep, we have 45 minutes to do... something. But she doesn't like her stroller, so walks are a no-go, and we can't really drive anywhere because it takes 15 minutes to go somewhere, so we'd have like 5 minutes and then have to go home. So I'm pretty much a slave to her nap schedule! And she no longer sleeps in her car seat, and does not sleep when we are out, so we're stuck at home. And see, when she gets too tired, she doesn't just fuss... she screams! So I'm still trying to figure out how to go on outings and get to coffee group with all the other moms and babies, since Riley only gives me like a 30 minute window to be out. This is part of motherhood I was NOT expecting. I was going to be the mom that went out and got things done with baby. I didn't expect that she would not like her stroller, or to be in a sling or front pack for more than about 10 minutes. I didn't expect to have to be at home basically all day long so my baby will be happy. And as long as she gets her naps (4 a day), she is very, very happy!
Another thing I did not expect was for Riley to have some serious stranger anxiety already. She cries when anybody holds her except for me or Mark. At first I thought it was just because she was tired, but even when she was totally rested and fed, she screamed when Mark's mom tried to hold her! She screamed when any of our neighbors tried to hold her. And she stopped as soon as she was back in my arms. I thought stranger anxiety didn't happen until like 8 or 9 months, but apparently not.
We're trying to introduce Riley to some "comfort objects," to help her self soothe a little if we are away, or to have something familiar to her that she can physically hold on to. I thought it was a little early for that kind of thing, but I thought better to start soon so that when we are in the US in December, she can have 1 or 2 comfort objects if ever Mark and I want to go out! Well, her two little objects are a blanket and a stuffed elephant, and it's amazing, she LOVES the elephant already. I try to give it to her only when it's time for bed so she associates sleep with the elephant, and so far it's like magic. She wraps her little arms around it and is quiet, and pretty much calms down and goes to sleep. See?? I did not pose her like that!
All of a sudden I was at a loss. She cried. A lot. And I couldn't get her to stop. She was tough to get to sleep. She wanted to be held all. the. time. She would only sleep in my arms. Now slowly we figured out that she was getting overtired, and as she re-adjusted to NZ time and caught up on sleep, slowly she returned to her normal self, and now, she's usually very happy. But I will say she is probably one of the most inflexible babies...ever. Her maximum awake time is an hour and a half. That is from the moment she wakes up, to the moment she is back asleep. This includes feeding, changing, playing, and the getting-her-back-to-sleep process. If you figure it takes 15-20 minutes to feed/change her, and 15-20 for her to fall asleep, we have 45 minutes to do... something. But she doesn't like her stroller, so walks are a no-go, and we can't really drive anywhere because it takes 15 minutes to go somewhere, so we'd have like 5 minutes and then have to go home. So I'm pretty much a slave to her nap schedule! And she no longer sleeps in her car seat, and does not sleep when we are out, so we're stuck at home. And see, when she gets too tired, she doesn't just fuss... she screams! So I'm still trying to figure out how to go on outings and get to coffee group with all the other moms and babies, since Riley only gives me like a 30 minute window to be out. This is part of motherhood I was NOT expecting. I was going to be the mom that went out and got things done with baby. I didn't expect that she would not like her stroller, or to be in a sling or front pack for more than about 10 minutes. I didn't expect to have to be at home basically all day long so my baby will be happy. And as long as she gets her naps (4 a day), she is very, very happy!
Another thing I did not expect was for Riley to have some serious stranger anxiety already. She cries when anybody holds her except for me or Mark. At first I thought it was just because she was tired, but even when she was totally rested and fed, she screamed when Mark's mom tried to hold her! She screamed when any of our neighbors tried to hold her. And she stopped as soon as she was back in my arms. I thought stranger anxiety didn't happen until like 8 or 9 months, but apparently not.
We're trying to introduce Riley to some "comfort objects," to help her self soothe a little if we are away, or to have something familiar to her that she can physically hold on to. I thought it was a little early for that kind of thing, but I thought better to start soon so that when we are in the US in December, she can have 1 or 2 comfort objects if ever Mark and I want to go out! Well, her two little objects are a blanket and a stuffed elephant, and it's amazing, she LOVES the elephant already. I try to give it to her only when it's time for bed so she associates sleep with the elephant, and so far it's like magic. She wraps her little arms around it and is quiet, and pretty much calms down and goes to sleep. See?? I did not pose her like that!
Everybody is fast asleeeeeeep!
But anyway, even though motherhood is not what I expected, the first 3 months of it have been amazing. Challenging at times, definitely, but totally worth it. Little Riley Bug is just amazing, and we couldn't be happier. Although if you try to hold her right now you might not agree since she'll probably scream! :)
But anyway, just for fun... baby in the Joey Jumper! She hasn't quiiiiite figured out the whole jumping thing yet.
But anyway, just for fun... baby in the Joey Jumper! She hasn't quiiiiite figured out the whole jumping thing yet.
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