I hadn't decided if I was going to blog about this. But it's been on my mind, and I usually blog about whatever's on my mind, so here goes. One year ago today my baby sister, my best friend died. One whole year. I remember getting the phone call like it was yesterday. And as much as I try and erase it, every night before I fall asleep, I hear my dad's voice on the phone relaying the news that would devastate me and my entire family.
She was only 20 years old. And because I was living in New Zealand, I hadn't seen her for almost 9 months before she died. And I think that made everything just so much harder. We had skyped every couple of weeks, but because we were in different countries, we just couldn't talk as much as we used to when I lived in California. And then, just like that, she was gone. And I was absolutely crushed.
It still hurts. I think about her every single day. About all the things we did together. About how much fun we had. About what a goofball she was. I laugh at all the fun memories we had. And I get sad that she will never meet Riley.
And mostly, on this day, I think of my parents, all the way across the world. Because when Katherine died, I was not yet a parent. Sure I was very pregnant, and some of you might count that as being a parent already, but really, until you have given birth, until you see your baby and hold her in your arms, you don't really know what it's like to be a parent. You have no idea. And so while I felt the pain of the loss of a sister and best friend, I couldn't possibly imagine what it would be like to lose a child. And while I still can't understand fully, now that I'm a parent myself, my heart breaks for my mom and my dad. Because I lost my sister, but they lost their baby girl.
Hug your loved ones just a little bit tighter today.