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Passions...

8/15/2010

1 Comment

 
This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately.  When I was younger, I knew exactly what I was passionate about- soccer.  Starting at about age 9, I was in love with the sport, and never looked back.  And it was this passion that drove me to work so hard and train every day so I could get better, and I loved every minute of it.  And in the end, all of that hard work paid off, as it got me into my dream school (Stanford) to play soccer.  And it just so happened that my future husband would also be a Stanford soccer player.
The point is, I was passionate about something for so long, and when I graduated, soccer just sort of ended.  I mean, I still play, but I think after so many years of working so hard, my passion for the sport just kind of fizzled out.  Don't get me wrong I still enjoy playing, but if someone told me tomorrow that I could never play again, I'd be okay with that.  And I never ever thought I'd say that.  So with soccer no longer a passion of mine, I'm trying to figure out what else I'm passionate about.  I mean, it seems to me, it's a shame not to be passionate about something.  And there's no right or wrong thing to be passionate about, some people are passionate about their work, or cooking, or knitting, or blogging, or... the list is endless.  But what about me?  It's not like you really just pick something and decide to make it your passion.  I guess you could try, and it might work, but generally it works the other way around.  You just sort of find yourself drawn to something, and you enjoy putting your time and energy into doing it, and you just naturally want to get better at it, or excel at it.  And at the moment, I'm not sure I have one of those. 

In an ideal world, your passion can make you money.  As in, your career is your passion.  Take my husband, for example.  I would say his passion (along with soccer) is chemistry.  He is very good at it, he loves it, and he is going to make a career out of it.  He likes what he's doing, and he goes to work to do what he loves.  I can think of so many people that hate their jobs, but do it just because they need the money, and that's a shame.  It's a shame not everyone can do what they love.  I started out that way, actually.  I worked as a behavior therapist for kids with autism for 6 months.  I loved the kids, hated the job.  It was such tough work, and I was so stressed out as a result.  When I started not being able to sleep well because I dreaded going to work, I knew enough was enough, I needed out.  It was my first job out of college, and I didn't want to be a quitter, but I was hating my job and that's no way to live day after day.  Luckily Mark was totally supportive, and I decided to take some time and try and figure out the right job for me.  And that's where I met this little man...
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I decided to become a nanny.  At first I was worried. I mean, I got a degree in child development at Stanford to become a nanny?  Pretty sure I could be a nanny without that $160,000 degree... But I soon realized it's not about what other people think, this was about ME.  I LOVED this job.  I loved watching this little one grow, and getting to be a part of it, and planning activities and influencing his development.  So when I moved to NZ, I found another nanny job, this time with babies, because since I was little, I loved babies.  And I still loved my job.  But can that be a passion?? Babies?? I love working with small children, but I don't know if I see myself teaching... so where does that leave me... just having babies of my own?  This one is pretty cute, I must say...
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I guess we'll have to wait and see.  I have a few things I'm quite interested in lately, but we're not quite at the level of calling it "passionate."  I'm really liking photography lately, and learning about photoshop, and there is a LOT to learn.  And I'm loving making scrapbook pages, so there could be something there... who knows.

 What's your passion??
1 Comment
Aline Caulley
8/15/2010 01:48:57 pm

Since you asked ...

I'm not sure I could say that I have spent my life with the type of passions that you are seeking to identify. Instead I've found traits -- ways that I approach things, for instance -- and values that I hold, which have been very consistent throughout my life.

My mentor once teased me when I tried to figure out all the answers (at about your age) for my future career. He pointed out that you can do many different things over the years, which turns out to be true. At first it was hard to get used to that idea, though.

And finally, for me, being a mother was much harder than when I was a software designer. I didn't feel I was a mommy-ish enough mom, and it was frustrating that I couldn't schedule my kids to meet their developmental goals on a timeline, lol. Those were not years of following my passion, but they were still full of commitment and dedication. (And I think your cousins turned out pretty well!) So it's just another way to go.

These may not be the answers you are looking for, but they're what I've learned to be true for me so far. And here I am, as an empty-nester, still searching. Will I pursue a passion next, or merely a pastime? I can't really say, but I feel at peace as I explore my options. Enjoy the search!

-- Aunt Aline

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