Sleep training

Ever written an entire long blog post only to have the internet go down and then you realize you never saved the draft so the whole thing got erased?   Yeah, that happened to me a few days ago, and I was so annoyed that I just now sat down to re-write it.  And I saved this draft like every other sentence, so it took a long time.  Anyway, on to the important stuff (in my opinion).

Tomorrow, we leave California and head back home to NZ.  And when we get there, we're starting sleep training.  It's been a long time coming, and I have been putting it off for one reason or another, and we've finally reached a point where we HAVE to do it.  I know there are tons of different opinions on sleep training and whether it's right or wrong, or what age you should do it, or what method to use, etc.  Let me tell you, I have done all the reading and research, I know all there is to know about baby sleep cycles, I've read opinions both for and against cry-it-out, I'm armed with information.

Here's the situation.  Since day 1, Riley has only slept well when being held.  Sure I could have let her cry a bit, but I was a new mom, and she was a tiny newborn that just wanted to be held, and I saw no problem with that.  But the only way to get her to sleep was to hold her, so we ended up sleeping with her in our bed.  You know, one of those things I swore I'd never do.  Anyway, as she got older, she got better and better at sleeping on her own.  She started out every night in her crib, slept anywhere  from 3 to 7 hours in there, and then came in bed with us after that.  But since she was getting better and better, I still didn't see a problem.

Then around 4 months she had a total sleep regression (which apparently is somewhat normal).  But for her, this meant (1) she needed to be rocked for a VERY long time to get to sleep (2) she fought sleep all the time and (3) she would no longer sleep in her crib for more than 40 minutes at a time.  Therefore, if she needed to go to bed at 7:30, I was spending hours trying to get her to fall asleep and stay asleep without me holding her.  When she turned 5 months, Mark and I agreed enough was enough and she just needed to learn to sleep in her crib.  Well, we tried to let her cry one night, and she screamed for well over an hour and a half (with me checking on her every 3, 5, 7, 10 minutes, and every ten minutes thereafter).  She cried so hard she was gagging and losing her voice.  Finally we decided we weren't ready to do this, which was awful because then all that crying was for nothing. 

We decided to wait until after the holidays to try again.  Since we were traveling internationally we knew we would be disrupting her schedule, plus it's not fair to let her cry when we are staying with my parents.  So we waited.  And not one single time over this holiday could I get her to sleep in her crib.  She literally will only sleep when held or in the car.  So today we leave, heading home, and in 2 days time, we sleep train.  I'm looking forward to the outcome, but dreading the process.

We've decided to use Ferber's method, which I know will involve a lot of crying, but I really don't see any way around it.  Basically we put her in her crib, and leave her for progressively longer periods of time before checking on her, until she falls asleep.  I wish there was another way, but I don't think there is.  I mean, I am looking forward to the outcome, just not the process. 

Anyway, we're headed to the airport in a few hours, and I'm going to spend the next two days enjoying my last cuddles with a sleeping baby in my arms.