Some parenting advice

When you have children (or even when you're pregnant) people LOVE to give you parenting advice.  Some of it is really helpful, some completely useless, and some is just flat out rude.  But it's just something about having kids that makes people feel the need to share what they think you should do with YOUR children (even if they don't have children of their own. Weird).  And so, I have some parenting advice for YOU.  You'll thank me later, trust me.  Here's my top ten.

1. After changing a dis-gus-ting dirty diaper in your car because there were no suitable surfaces for changing baby, do NOT leave said diaper in car for 2 days.  Don't do it.
2. Never ever ever put a super-absorbent disposable breast pad in the washing machine.  Ever seen those little crystal things that are in disposable diapers?  They're in breast pads too.  And now they're all over all my (and Mark, and Riley's) should-be-clean clothes.
3. ALWAYS bring extra diapers, wipes, and baby clothes with you wherever you go, even if it's "just for a second."  Because you know that the one time you don't, you are guaranteed a poopsplosion.  That is a word, I promise.
4. See if your baby will actually eat your homemade baby food before you get all crazy and make a month's supply that takes over your freezer.
5. Don't decide that you'll just carry your wiggly, curious almost 7 month old while shopping rather than bringing the stroller or sling, even if you think you need "just one thing." Odds are, you need more than one, which means you need multiple hands, and baby will want to lunge and grab at everything.  But if you get lucky the salesperson will feel bad for you and carry your stuff, pack it in your bag for you, AND try to distract your baby long enough so you can pay for your merchandise.  Thank goodness for patient salespeople.
6. If you have one of those window shade things in your car, the kind that hooks in the actual window, do NOT forget it's there and try and crack THAT particular window to give your baby some fresh air, because it will make a LOUD sound and scare the crap out of said baby, and she will SCREAM until you can get her out of the seat and comfort her.
7. You can never have too many burp cloths.  No seriously.
8. This one is not parenting advice, this one is for the general public.  Be kind to mamas on planes with babies.  Or children in general.  Because (1) that mom is probably going to do everything in her power to keep her kid(s) happy (what mom wants be THAT mom with a screaming baby on a plane?) (2) She is probably totally stressed already and (3) giving dirty looks and making rude comments will not actually make the baby any quieter.  Just so you know for next time.
9. Don't spend a fortune on baby toys.  Odds are, your baby's favorite "toys" will be: paper, cups, watches, water bottles, shoes, or pretty much anything else NOT designed to be a baby toy.
10. When it comes down to it, you do whatever's right for your baby, trust your instincts, and forget about all the advice you may have received (unless you thought that advice was good, and then feel free to follow it).

Hopefully my advice didn't bore you too much!  Sometimes I think Riley thinks I'm boring...  yawn.