Two babies. A month in review.

When I was pregnant, I had two worries.  Well, that's not true, I had many more than two, but two big concerns.  (1) What would it be like with 2 under 2 for ME and (2) what would Riley be like with her little brother?  I didn't know what to expect.  Everyone I talked to wanted to tell me I would "have my hands full" or how hard it would be, or how I wouldn't get any sleep, etc... Very few people had anything positive to say about the first months with 2 under 2.  So needless to say, I was a little nervous. But to be perfectly honest, the last month has been AMAZING.  Not without challenges, of course, but the positives way way way outweigh any hard times.

So what's it REALLY like? We'll start with the night time: Yes it's tiring.  Jackson has nights where he's up every hour.  His longest stretch of sleep has been 3.5 hours, and that only happened once.  The first few weeks he was home, Riley was also waking up in the middle of the night.  BUT, Riley has since started sleeping straight through the night and even sleeping in later in the morning, so that helps.  I may only be getting 1-2 hours of sleep at a time, for a total of maybe 5ish hours, but I know as Jackson gets older and bigger, his night time sleep will improve, we'll get longer stretches, and fewer wake-ups.  It's exhausting, but pretty much just what I expected for the first months.  I mean let's be real, it took Riley 20 months to sleep through the night, so waking up in the night to take care of a baby is nothing new to me!  Plus, when I do get to sleep, I can sleep quite comfortably (compared to when I was pregnant) which is so so nice!

The day time has been a lot easier than I expected.  Partly because Jackson still sleeps a lot, and he sleeps anywhere and pretty much through anything. So once he's fed, I can put him down and give Riley lots of attention, which helps her not get jealous or crave attention and therefore act out while I'm feeding her brother.  So far I've been able to get them to sleep at the same time every day, which gives me a much needed break.  Yes we've had a few rough days/moments.  Moments where two babies both need me and are both crying.  Moments when Riley needs something and I don't have any free hands... when she's misbehaving because she knows I can't do anything about it immediately since I'm nursing the little one.  Growth spurts are the hardest since so much time is spent feeding, but on those days, I've learned that it's better to put on a movie or pull out the ipad for a while than for her to get mad and jealous and then misbehave and have to be disciplined.

I was concerned about how Riley would react to such a big change, and what her relationship with her brother would be like.  I already knew she loved babies, but what about one of her own?  We did a lot of prepping her for baby brother, and I think we've done a really good job of making sure she doesn't get jealous.  We make sure to give her lots of 1-on-1 attention.  We try to include her in all things Jackson-related.  She is involved in diaper changes and feeding and bath time and helping get baby his paci and blankies and clothes.  Obviously we wouldn't force her to help if she didn't want to, but she likes being involved with everything.

We let her hold him and kiss him and touch him without hovering too much.  It's tricky because we obviously want to protect Jackson since he's so tiny, and it would be easier to not let Riley poke and prod him and hold him, and to not have to stop everything so she can show him her books or toys or whatever. But we try not to tell her no when she wants to hold him or lay with him or kiss him.  We don't make her be quiet when he's sleeping.  She lays on his play gym with him. She does tummy time with him.  She touches his head and hands and kisses him on the mouth.  She rocks him in his swing and in his car seat when he cries.  She pats him on the head constantly.  As long as she's not trying to hurt him (which she never has so far) or doing something where she really might accidentally hurt him, we sort of let her do her thing.

We call Jackson HER baby.  We obviously have a few things she's not allowed to do when it comes to him.  No laying on top of him, no poking him in the eyes, no stealing his paci, and no climbing in his swing or rock 'n play. She can play in his car seat and his play gym, sit on his bath seat if she wants, pour water on him and help wash his hair in the bath, and she has free reign with all his toys and blankets.  She has pretty much taken over his little vibrating baby seat. We pick our battles so that we don't have to say no to everything she wants to do with him and his toys.  We haven't had to make any other rules because she's pretty fantastic with him.  She really seems to love him a whole lot.  I just hope this relationship continues to grow and they become the best of friends.

The only issues we've had have been minor and pretty easily solved. 

(1) Riley does NOT like to share her pink blankies unless it's her idea.  One time I put Jack down on the couch with his head on her blankie... She was NOT amused.  But you know what, those are her very special blankies, and she doesn't have to share them, that's okay.  So I picked him up off it, problem solved.

(2) She is always trying to put his paci in his mouth (even when he's sleeping), OR she will put it in her own mouth.  We're still working on this one...

(3) She will occasionally do something she's not supposed to while I'm feeding him, and not listen to me when I tell her to stop doing what she's doing.  I'm still trying to suss out what the best way to respond would be.  If I don't respond, then she sees she can get away with it for a while.  But she's doing it for attention, so if I do respond (by unlatching the baby, or getting up with him and stopping/reprimanding Riley) then I am giving her the attention.  Currently I'm trying to prevent these behaviors in the first place by setting her up with a fun activity to do either by herself or with me on the couch while I feed him.  And it usually works.

Anyway, we'll see what happens as they both get older.  I want to do everything possible to foster a wonderful relationship between the two of them, and I can't wait to see how they grow together.